The Tale of the Toblerone

by Nani Jayakody

The Toblerone bar was born. He felt something grow within him, a feeling of some sort. It soon became a little painful but for the time being it didn’t matter much. The Toblerone realized he was surrounded by many products but all were silent. The Toblerone was alone. After this realization he was then overtaken by another, he wanted to be eaten.

The Toblerone bar sat on a shelf watching people pass him by, feeling a painful throb the entire time. People of all types passed him without a thought, and this brought a feeling of emptiness, a feeling that was dull on the surface but inside an intricate mess. The Toblerone didn’t know why this was happening to him, he didn’t know why he was being so blatantly ignored. Wasn’t his brand supposed to be popular? Weren’t people supposed to look at him, place him within their mouths and fulfill the Toblerone’s need? He wanted to be eaten, the need was throbbing within him. The only chocolate bought were the Cadbury bars, all about as unique, interesting and exclusive as a fly circling around dog poop. The Toblerone felt cheated, betrayed, and unloved. The only person that had given him a glance so far was an ugly, overweight child whose belly button outline could be seen on his t shirt. His equally overweight mother had dragged him away, promising to buy something better. Something better?! To this statement, the Toblerone bar was outraged, but what could he do?

The Toblerone’s main goal in life was to be eaten and he wanted this badly, he didn’t know why but it felt like his life purpose. At the start of his consciousness the wanting of being eaten was a dull throb, but now it was a stabbing pain that was unavoidable. It was like comparing a bumble bee’s sting to that of a Japanese Hornet’s. The day passed by and in time a young women picked up the Toblerone with greed. The Toblerone wanted so bad to be bought by that woman, placed between her red lips and eaten greedily. He wanted her taste buds to take in his chocolate nut mixture and be satisfied by it greatly. He wanted it so badly, so very badly.

However, in this cruel world of his, wanting doesn’t mean getting and he was placed back on his shelf.

The Toblerone was extremely devastated. Within in the period of time that had passed since the encounter of with the women he couldn’t stop thinking about something. The possibility of his life purpose being achieved, it was such an amazing feeling, but it was so mercilessly snuffed out. However, more people were noticing him, none went to the extent of picking him up but it at least showed that the Toblerone was still within a chance of being eaten today. As the Toblerone started to feel a little better he heard the quick stomps of a child’s foot and he found himself being snatched up. The Toblerone was flustered, but there was also something in him that was joyous. Could this finally be it?! Was the child who grabbed him forcefully and without a care the person that would place him between their mouth?

The child did have that in mind but security had captured him before he could do this. To explain shortly, the child was a shoplifter and the Toblerone was something he planned to steal and eat. the child had made it to the shopping center parking lot but he was soon found, once the child realized this the products were thrown into the air as a way for the child to be free to run. The Toblerone was now under a car, looking at the complex chassis above him. After he had been thrown the Toblerone first panicked. He knew under a car no one would bother eating him. Honestly, panic is too soft a word for what he was feeling at that moment. It was the feeling of being kicked in the balls, a feeling male readers would sympathize with. Obviously, the Toblerone’s world hadn’t ended, he was still conscious, he could still make memories and experience things, but none of that mattered, what was the point of all that if he couldn’t achieve his goal, his life purpose?

The Toblerone still felt this within him, but those feelings weren’t as hot and fiery as before. They sat within him, dull and numb but still constant. Apart from those feelings the Toblerone felt nothing else, a horrible emptiness had taken over him. At this point of time felt couldn’t be used as a verb when concerning the Toblerone, because under the chassis of the car he had landed under, the Toblerone became a normal inanimate bar.